Today I found out that I didn’t get a design position because my portfolio didn’t have as much graphic art in it as the other applicants’. All of the graphic art that they had came from the classes that they took at UC Davis. So it’s not like they came up with those ideas themselves anyway. If you gave me an assignment, I would DEF be able to impress the client and make em do a double take.
The reasoning behind why I didn’t get chosen is crap. My passtime sucks because i’m an underclassman and i’m not able to get into the classes that I want so my portfolio has a lot more studio art. But can’t they see even a little bit of creativity through what I do have to show? I’m slowly getting into more design classes, but until then, I feel like no one is going to take me seriously, or even give me a chance.
All you future employeers out there, I want you to know something:
I am a fast learner, I am awesome, and you want me on your team.
And because of that, its always been on my heart to root for the underdog. Give yourself a chance to be surprised. Go Warriors. Time to apply for something better. $$Get Money$$
I haven’t been getting much sleep lately. Sleep is the only way I can get the rest of my life done. It’s only been building up on me. My mom would kill me if she knew that I was only getting about 6 hours or less a night.
I’m a bible study leader, but I haven’t been good at reading the Bible. I want to grab freshman that aren’t in my fellowship, yet at the same time, I don’t spend enough time reaching out to the freshman that are already in my fellowship. God I just pray that you would help me sew the seeds that you’ve already planted for me.
I’m the ASUCD Elections Committee Chair. I want SO bad for this election season to go well. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. So far, things have been quite well because God has really provided. The turn out for recent events have far exceeded my expectations. Why is it then, that even with all this proof that God is looking out for me, I still can’t place my trust in Him with the upcoming elections? I don’t understand what’s holding me back. Do I not have faith? Do I not believe that all things are possible through God? No. The problem is I want to do things on my own. I want to have as much control over them as possible. I want to have the feeling that I can control the outcome of things that I have no control over.
I am on the UCD Taiko team. I am incredibly happy and thankful that I was given this opportunity. But at the same time, it’s confusing the crap out of me. God knows that I have a lot on my plate already. I prayed and I prayed, telling God that if he wanted me to spend my time doing taiko, he would let me make the cut- and if he wanted me to spend it elsewhere, then I would. There were almost 40 people trying out for 8 spots. I have never played taiko my entire life. Why does God want me here?
I want to have more time for people. I want to impact lives for God. But this probably takes the most time out of everything that is in my schedule right now. I wish I had enough time to sit down with everyone and understand them.
Schoolwork is always on the back burner. This has got to stop.
There are so many options on my plate that I don’t know where to start. I’m going to sleep now. I pray to not be anxious. I pray to trust. I pray to know.
Belgian waffles for brunch? Oh yeah. We ain’t playin.
To the best dad in the world,
Thanks for everything youve done for me and everything you continue to do for me. Im not sure what ive done to deserve someone as great as you in my life, but im super glad that i can share my adventures with you. thank you thank you thank you. i wrote better things in the card i made you.
It’s weird how getting older causes birthdays to lose their sense of specialty and bliss. They’re still significant and fun, but they just aren’t something you look forward to as much.
I am turning 19 on monday. It almost seems like a pointless number when compared to 16, 18, 21 etc. Even so, this should not/will not stop me from making my 19th year count. I am going to make this year count for God.
Another thing that happens when you get older is that it gets way harder to shop for you. (in terms of other people getting gifts for you) I hardly got any presents this year. I mostly got money. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a great gift in itself, but I would have been happy with anything that had thought put into it. You know?
But you wanna know what never gets old? The joy that comes with spending time with your family <3 timeless.
I recently had a couple interviews for internships. At every single one, I was asked whether or not I kept a blog. I guess blogs are the new thing that everyone wants to see! SO this summer, I am going to challenge myself to get into the habit of blogging and try to blog every day! It’s going to be awesome :)
I got a summer internship with the Estria Foundation! They are the most amazing people that utilize graffiti to spread social justice to make a difference in the world. I feel so privileged to be able to work with them and I just hope that I can meet their expectations.
nervous? OH YES.
I cut someone’s hair yesterday for the first time! ehhehehehee I gave darren a semi buzz cut. He wasn’t too hot about it at first, but I really like it. It’s been growing on him ever since. ha pun.
One thing about college is that you’re a bit more independent than before. Because of this, ive tried to take better care of myself. I guess I never thought I had to before, because my parents were taking care of me. but now that im on my own, I cant expect to have everything done for me. its just small things right now, like taking vitamins, flossing, and regulating my sleeping hours. I might be taking baby steps now, but hopefully ill be running soon. Its nice to be responsible. But the weird thing is, when I get home, everything right that I do at college, undo’s itself. So my mom never actually believes me when I tell her that I do these things ha.
College is a lot different than high school. Well at least for me it is. In high school, I was running around a lot, getting things done and making sure I used up every last second. Yet, ever since I started college, ive been busy, but not to the extent that I was in high school. sometimes I crave getting that feeling back. It feels as if you’re running in a marathon, getting to different check points with the satisfaction of crossing items off your to-do list. Yeah, I haven’t quite been able to continue that lifestyle at davis. But that’s okay. With more time on my hands, ive been able to think a lot more, as well as find out what I really WANT to do, instead of just focusing on what I HAVE to do.
people are the weirdest things. its so crazy how one person can have such an impact on another. i hope that ive been the kind of person that has inspired the positive actions of others.
if i could only have one really good friend, i think i would be okay with that. and i think im really lucky because i do have that person :) were the dream team babyyy.
i got back from a family vacation about a week ago. and since then, a lot has happened. i realized that yes, i love my family and that theyll always be there for me, but i also realized how much more my friends mean to me. i was also reminded of how hard my mom isnt letting me go. “youre too young to be doing this and that and going here and there” idk if it was up to her, all i would be doing right now is… STUDYING. no hanging out with friends or doing “dumb” extracurriculars.
i really really hope that how ive been spending my time has been wise. if ive been neglecting anyone or anything, i want to know! tell meee. im still looking for that balance. God has to stay top priority.
i love the bible in a year plan <3
things to do:
update this thing more
hang out with all my friends or at least stay on contact with them
get in shape
text back better, actually, get a new phone so i can text cynthia
i havent blogged in a long time. i really should start trying to keep this tumblr thing up.
recently ive been trying to be more consistent with the things i do. like reading the bible everyday, waking up on time for school, eating my gummy bear vitamins. even though these daily routines are good for me, sometimes i feel like its a waste. like im turning into a robot o.o hopefully thats not the case.
hmmm. what else has been new? well. ive discovered that im not as good a driver as i would like to be. i think ive ran a couple more red lights than one should. ive almost run over a few pedestrians. the curb keeps bumping into my tire. i really really need to stop being so lazy behind the wheel. if i dont stop now, some cop is going to find me soon. i just know it.
(is it worth it to do something if you know its only going to last for a short amount of time?) and does it matter who starts the conversation?
i do not want to become a psychiatrist when i grow up. if i do, somebody shoot me.
summer plans so far:
family vacation to LV and yosemite, road trip with cynth, road trip with ann, volunteer at the el sobrante boys and girls club, missions trip to mexico, bond with darren, cousins wedding, joni and friends?
i got a camcorder :) soooooo expect some awesome moments to be uploaded. except i dont know how to upload videos on tumblr. i gotta find someone to help me.
today was a really interesting day. lemme tell you about it!
since today was the first day of star testing, me being a senior, i didnt have to come to school till 11. obviously i went home after leadership. but before i got to dee casa, i stopped at the top of arlington and potrero and i think i might have had the best time of worship and devos for a very long time. the view was amazing. it had just stopped raining so the sky was as clear as ‘blue and yellow make green.’ DUH
after that, i got home and i went back to bed hahaha. but get this… I SLEPT UNTIL 1:30PM. how is this plausible?! i have no idea!!! that adds up to about 10 hours if i do say so myself.
by that time, i figured that i should do something productive. i went to the berk library and got some ap test books. then i went to ranch and got a strawberry black tea with tapioca. it was very good (im doing this thing where i try a different flavor every time i go there) i sat in the boba place for over an hour, and i got a lot of reading done. it felt good to study.
overall, it was a really mellow day. i liked it a lot. i didnt drive over 30mph, i didnt listen to the radio; i just had peace with God
the world is a noisy place. but Jesus let me borrow His earplugs today :)
okay, there’s no point in having a tumblr if i dont keep it up.
yesterday, was my first day back to leadership after not going for a whole week and two days. i cant believe how much i missed those kids, how much i missed standing up there talking to them. i told them that i felt like their mother and they were my kids ahha. i hope theyre okay with that cuz i cant find a better description.
hmmm. what has happened?
ahhh i havent written about my college visiting experiences. lets just say that i love the bike riders at davis. i think i might join them:)
ohhh i dont know what to write about. at least i posted! God is just too good. smiles all around!
but i have been thinking about this: what am i going to do this summer?
i got my license today. yay right? i guess. but i cant drive until i have insurance. okay i get it. makes sense. but hey mom, when is that going to happen? another 6 months? great. thanks.more waiting.
after i got home today, i asked my mom if i could drive to melody’s house (a friend of mine that lives right down the hill) and of course she said no. for some reason, that made me really sad, even though its totally understandable for her to deny my request. my dad came home right as i was arguing with my mom, trying to convince her to let me go down the hill. and he just came into the house as if nothing was happening.
as i sat crying in the bathroom, i couldnt help but wonder what my relationship with my parents is. i havent had a real conversation with either of my parents for the longest time. they never try to talk to me and ask me how my day was. or if they do, its because they want to know something. we arent friends. the only thing that connects me with them, is that they can give me permission for activities that require parental consent. i bet they dont even notice. they prob think everything is fine. i dont understand how some people can say that their parents are their best friends.
i guess thats why i get so angry when either of them try to tell me what to do. what have they done to deserve that respect? nothing. they were given their titles by default. and thats stupid.
i probably sound like a horrible daughter, but i cant help how i feel.
dear parents (or should i say landlords? since it seems like all you do is manage my housing),
im still trying to figure out how to use this tumblr thing. i think ill ask cynthia to explain it to me later…
i slept over at my bsf’s house yesterday. When i got home this morning, i was lucky enough to discover a letter for me from the RHODE ISLAND SCHOOL OF DESIGN. i really had to pee when i stepped into the house, but that letter was WAY more important than relieving myself. it looked really suspicious though cuz it wasnt a big envelope. (colleges are supposed to send big envelopes when you get accepted.) i initially thought they were just trying to save paper or something. then i opened it and i read it. turns out i got wait listed. (is that one word? is there supposed to be a hyphen? im not sure. but i texted a lot of people today to tell them that i got wait-listed. i used a different version in every text. hopefully i got one of them right)
even though its not a complete acceptance, i was really happy when i found out the news. because it means that my art is in the favor of those the admittance officers at one of the most prestigious art schools there is. they liked me enough to not reject me! pretty good for never taking any real art classes. i wasnt planning on going, i just wanted to see if i could get in.
but i wonder… if had made the earlier application deadline… would i have gotten a spot? oh well. it doesnt really matter.
after that, i headed straight to the ortho. GOOD APPOINTMENT TODAY. my ortho examined my teeth, and it turns out they they are ripe and ready for picking!! i want to make them sound like grapes that have been stuck on a fence cuz the vines werent straight. time to set my grapes free. and he said that i could come in to the office TOMORROW to get them off if i really wanted to. too bad i cant cuz i have my driving test.
that was a really hard decision to make. but in the end, id rather have to wait a little longer with my grapes on the fence, then not be a vehicle driver.
yayyyyyyyyyyyyy. today was just a pretty good day.
okay tumblr. how was that for a first post? huh? huh?